It's Your Path by Kathy Smith
In the earlier days of the homeschooling movement, homeschoolers were mostly underground. The "crazy people" who did things so differently from what the majority of Americans thought of as normal and acceptable were frequently on the edge of the law. The threat of truancy officers was a much bigger part of the equation than today. Support organizations frequently kept their membership secret; and no one ever heard, "Oh, my cousin does that." Everyone heard the question, "What about socialization?" Books written on any aspect of the subject were new, rare, and desperately needed.
Nowadays, the difficulties have more to do with navigating the sea of information than finding any in the first place. Homeschoolers aren't hiding - they're marketed to. There's The Homeschooling Handbook, The Unschooling Handbook, and Teenage Liberation Handbook. There are devotions for Christian homeschoolers and Pagan Homeschoolers....
Do you use a curriculum? What's this "unschooling"? Are kids that go to Charter Schools or Independent Study really homeschoolers? Should I use the Charlotte Mason Approach, Classical Homeschooling, or Waldorf Method?
For a new homeschooler, instead of finding no one doing it, as in the old days, it seems like half the people you know are doing it, and they are all doing it in a different way. Not only that, but most of them believe that their way is the only way. You might have a cousin who uses Abeka, a neighbor who uses My Super Second Grader Workbook; and your best friend who has never even opened a textbook is trying to get you to read John Holt and other books about unschooling. What might make this especially daunting is that it’s experienced homeschoolers you are talking to, you like their kids, you think they must know more than you do - but yikes!, they don't agree with each other.
Here's the key - they are actually not more experienced than you are with your child. Why is there no expert agreement on the "right" way to educate a child? I think it's simply because it's a different job every time. Great teachers get to know their students, so in this you are absolutely the ultimate expert. No one knows your child like you do.
Another thing to realize is that there is no magic set of knowledge and experience that kids need in order to be successful and educated adults. Your ideas are no less valuable than someone on a school board when it comes to your child. It's your path - yours and your child's.
A simple way to get started is to create a picture in your mind of your child as a young adult, and what you want for your child. Now please don't think of this as a recommendation that you attempt to shape your child like some lump of unformed clay. You're a parent, you already know that's not going to happen. But it still helps create a picture, just to help yourself know what's important to you. Is it independent thinking? Is it religion? Is it compassion? Is it logical thinking? Is it creativity? Is it an excitement about learning? Is it a solid body of classical knowledge? Of course all those things sound wonderful, but you really have your own mental list, and your own way of prioritizing.
As an example, for my family, the most important things were being able to think outside the box, being able to learn on one's own, and being excited about learning; so we leaned toward unschooling, or child-led learning. As time went on, we realized that we really wanted our kids to be scientists in their approach to life - we wanted them to know how to apply logic and scientific method - so we changed a bit, started doing more goal setting together, and introducing them to more that originated from us. Because we still wanted them to be excited about learning, we never forced learning on them.
Now that's our path. It's absolutely not important for you to think about whether you agree with it or don't. What is your family's path? Talk to your spouse, and more importantly talk to your child. What qualities are most important to you? Don't be afraid to write it down. Don't be afraid to revisit it. Usually I revisit my priorities when I'm feeling nervous. I can't say how many times I've come up against some self doubt when hearing about another homeschooler who had accomplished some educational feat my kids had not yet accomplished, only to look at my priorities to realize we were doing great at what we were trying to do. Maybe my 12 year old hadn't studied algebra yet, but she was very interested in animals. Interest was a priority; algebra wasn't.
When you have your path defined, it's so much easier to read through articles, information, curricula, and all the load of information out there for homeschoolers without feeling lost and confused. And why shouldn't you? You and your child are the experts, and it's your path.
-Kathy Smith